Common Method
To reiterate, the common view of reality is one where there are a bunch of people navigating through a real world that they interact with. In this view, it is assumed that the more we get the things we want, the more successful we are. The less we have the things we don't want, the less we suffer.
Things outside of us are desirable, neutral and undesirable. Money is desirable. Getting yelled at by our stupid boss is undesirable.
In order to live a successful life, we go about in the world trying to get things we want (money, partner, friends) and get rid of things we don't want (bad boss, abusive partner). In order to do this, we believe that "the ends justify the means." For instance, punishing our children in order to protect them, fighting wars to protect our country, and undergoing harmful medical treatments like chemotherapy in order to save lives. This has the unfortunate side-effect of making people think that "sometimes you have to do something bad in order to get something good." :(
Some less noble, but even more common methods for securing a successful life are making money, finding a partner, fulfilling our dreams. Unfortunately, people do these things in the hopes that they will be happy, but scientifically speaking, that doesn't work (The Myths of Happiness). Also, people believe that success will make them happy, but in fact, it's the other way around. Happiness leads to success (The Happiness Advantage).
Why is it that our culture teaches us to pursue goals that don't actually lead to happiness and success? Basically, it's because of a misunderstanding about the nature of reality. Most people walking around don't understand the way the mind works. And if you don't understand that, then the likelihood of you feeling fulfilled in life is basically just chance.
Things outside of us are desirable, neutral and undesirable. Money is desirable. Getting yelled at by our stupid boss is undesirable.
In order to live a successful life, we go about in the world trying to get things we want (money, partner, friends) and get rid of things we don't want (bad boss, abusive partner). In order to do this, we believe that "the ends justify the means." For instance, punishing our children in order to protect them, fighting wars to protect our country, and undergoing harmful medical treatments like chemotherapy in order to save lives. This has the unfortunate side-effect of making people think that "sometimes you have to do something bad in order to get something good." :(
Some less noble, but even more common methods for securing a successful life are making money, finding a partner, fulfilling our dreams. Unfortunately, people do these things in the hopes that they will be happy, but scientifically speaking, that doesn't work (The Myths of Happiness). Also, people believe that success will make them happy, but in fact, it's the other way around. Happiness leads to success (The Happiness Advantage).
Why is it that our culture teaches us to pursue goals that don't actually lead to happiness and success? Basically, it's because of a misunderstanding about the nature of reality. Most people walking around don't understand the way the mind works. And if you don't understand that, then the likelihood of you feeling fulfilled in life is basically just chance.
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